Talking AT your buyers costs you thousands

Hi, intrepid reader,

Most people think they know their potential clients so well that they talk at them rather than to them.

This is a huge turnoff. It’s like a bad date, but you’re also asking them to pay.

Enter the empathy map.

What is an empathy map?

Making an empathy map is something that designers often do, but somehow, marketers skip. Why? It can look like a “waste of time”.

It assuredly is not.

If you only pay attention to what your client says, but not what they think, do, or feel, it’s like superficially listening to them and waiting just to interrupt them. No one likes that. So, a little extra time to understand the whole person is warranted.

When you understand their entire map of emotions and reason, you can:

• be authentic,

• sell your product &

• resonate with the whole person

Why it works: You’re seeing the whole person

Taking time to understand a whole person is a sure-fired way to see why people (irrational creatures that we are) say one thing and then act a completely different way. Usually we’re paying attention only to the surface, but deeper motivations can inform us of our ideal clients’ real reasons.

Let’s take the example of why to buy the humble Roomba:

• Surface-level issue: What would everyone admit when they buy this? That they don’t have time to vacuum.

• The problem one level deeper: But what is it really? It’s that they’re not having people over because the kid’s cereal and the dog hair is all over the place, they feel like they’re messy! Will other people judge them?

• What are they seeing and hearing to make them think this: Ads on tv with perfect houses, their friends’ tidy houses on social media, their mom’s voice in their head.

• What are they saying and thinking: this is one level deeper than just what they see, but it’s informed by it. If they are under pressure to have a “perfect” house, they might think they’re a failure if they aren’t!

• What are they doing: This is an output of their thoughts and words. If they’re thinking they’re a failure, are they staying up late to vacuum? Are they just not having friends over because they’re a little embarrassed? Are they getting angry at their partner or kids because no one is helping? These are the pain points that you might not get to from the surface-level issues.

• How can you address these unspoken pain points: if you’re selling Roombas, your focus may sharpen now. It’s not that you’re pointing out that Roombas save time (though they do!), it’s that the person can use this tool to get 1) peace of mind, 2) more social time with friends, 3) peace at home, because a robot does the work.

If you didn’t go through this exercise, you might continue to stress the time factor. And though that’s important, it’s not as important as the “I have an awesome house I’m proud to invite my friends to and don’t have to nag my family to clean”.

What to do with the facts

Want to try for yourself? Brainstorm a little about your clients and then use this handy worksheet (developed by the innovators over at Nielsen Norman, one of my fav research places) to go further. Designers use these all the time when thinking through needs of who looks at your website.

You can use one too, and see life through your potential customer’s eyes.

Happy empathizing,

Christine